i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is the high leading the old right now
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
