There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
