when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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