The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
