Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
