didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
