I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
