Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
