i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
