im six kinds of drunk right now
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
