ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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