it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
