i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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