He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
