For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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