it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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