Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How does it feel to date your dad?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
