Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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