Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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