It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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