he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
