Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize