dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
