matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
