i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
