dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
