she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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