i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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