Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
