Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
