you have to choose: penises or morals?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize