Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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