Walk of Shame. In a state park.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
3 2 1 whiskey
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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