areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
