we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
