guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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