OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
