We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
