Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
