I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize