I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
