their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
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I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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