Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
