Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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