butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
