Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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