I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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