We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
