i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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