Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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