I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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