I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
