How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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