Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
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