You're my little dorito
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
