I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize