Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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