If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize