Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
