Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm really busy with my period
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